As the wife informed me a new washer and dryer is not a suitable gift for her birthday, I am resigned to moving her into the era of the smart phone.
As a Blackberry user for the past couple of years, I must say I have been very happy with it. I have tried to use the I-phone, but the overwhelming technological power of it gives me the creeps. Also, I discovered I cannot type on the damn thing. I tried the old line "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog", but never got past "The qu..." The keys were so sensitive, I kept picking up letters without trying. Then, somehow I e-mailed the test message to myself. Smart phone, my ass.
Not to mention, the Blackberry will not set me back $400-$500 to start. I must admit, that appeals to my "frugal" side.
Any opinions out there?
Monday, March 24, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Bang the Thumb Slowly...
Most weekends, after a round of golf, the pro will ask me how things went. I usually respond with the trite expression..."I should have stayed home, and pounded my thumb with a hammer." We all laugh, and I go on my way.
However, Sunday, after the second round of the Mud Ball Open, and another disappointing performance, I apparently let my subconscious mind take over, where my conscious mind should have been in charge.
I got home...eager to try out the new plug aerator I had bought to manage the estate on Maniacal Lane. Now, for the agronomically challenged, a plug aerator is a device consisting of a series of spiked wheels. It is designed to be towed behind a riding mower, and the wheels penetrate the ground as they roll, bringing up a "plug" of soil, and leaving a hole. These holes allow water and nutrients to penetrate into the lawn to promote a healthy lawn. To accomplish this, one must place a considerable amount of weight on the aerator to help the spikes penetrate into the winter hardened soil. In my case, I chose five full sized cinder blocks and four 5X9concrete flat stones.
Plenty of weight, as it turned out. The problem came after I had finished, and decided to remove the aerator in question from my mower. Keep in mind, I have a Masters Degree in Civil Engineering. Forgetting my physics classes, I disconnected the aerator from the mower, and the enormous weight of the concrete blocks immediately flipped the aerator backwards, "pounding my thumb with the hammer" of the tongue of the aerator underneath the back edge of the mower. A nickel sized chunk of flesh was removed from my thumb, and my regularly scheduled, one pint blood donation was accomplished in the flash of a piece of yard equipment. On the positive side, I did manage to teach the neighborhood kids a few new words. The good news is, the injury was high enough up on my thumb I don't think it will prevent me from pursuing my passion again this weekend.
When I told the folks at work about it, they asked when was the last time I had a teatnus shot. I explained that I injure myself more than "Tim, the Tool Man", so the wife has me on an annual vaccination schedule. Sometime, I will show you my tags.
However, Sunday, after the second round of the Mud Ball Open, and another disappointing performance, I apparently let my subconscious mind take over, where my conscious mind should have been in charge.
I got home...eager to try out the new plug aerator I had bought to manage the estate on Maniacal Lane. Now, for the agronomically challenged, a plug aerator is a device consisting of a series of spiked wheels. It is designed to be towed behind a riding mower, and the wheels penetrate the ground as they roll, bringing up a "plug" of soil, and leaving a hole. These holes allow water and nutrients to penetrate into the lawn to promote a healthy lawn. To accomplish this, one must place a considerable amount of weight on the aerator to help the spikes penetrate into the winter hardened soil. In my case, I chose five full sized cinder blocks and four 5X9concrete flat stones.
Plenty of weight, as it turned out. The problem came after I had finished, and decided to remove the aerator in question from my mower. Keep in mind, I have a Masters Degree in Civil Engineering. Forgetting my physics classes, I disconnected the aerator from the mower, and the enormous weight of the concrete blocks immediately flipped the aerator backwards, "pounding my thumb with the hammer" of the tongue of the aerator underneath the back edge of the mower. A nickel sized chunk of flesh was removed from my thumb, and my regularly scheduled, one pint blood donation was accomplished in the flash of a piece of yard equipment. On the positive side, I did manage to teach the neighborhood kids a few new words. The good news is, the injury was high enough up on my thumb I don't think it will prevent me from pursuing my passion again this weekend.
When I told the folks at work about it, they asked when was the last time I had a teatnus shot. I explained that I injure myself more than "Tim, the Tool Man", so the wife has me on an annual vaccination schedule. Sometime, I will show you my tags.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Those That Can't Do....Teach
In the aftermath of another disappointing golf outing I have decided to take up a new pastime as a teaching professional...
Important Golf Lesson
Important Golf Lesson
Friday, March 14, 2008
Saying Nothing at All
To the two, maybe three readers out there, I apologize for the complete dearth in posting. I truly have had nothing worthwhile to write about. The grass is dormant, the garden, un-tilled. Work??? Yawwwnnnn!!! Not much to do when you find yourself with a $1 billion shortfall. Sad to say, but the weekly hanging out with grumpy old men at Caprock on Thursday nights has become the highlight of the week.
But, wait...what is that...looming on the horizon??? Oh yeah, the first golf tournament of the season is this weekend. The Mud Ball Open, in which Damian, RB and I will throw our best at the field to see if we can bring home the coveted "Pro Shop Credit". Given that RB and I will be competing for the first time since completely re-building our swings, and Damian will surely have the ass-chewing from the mother of four ringing in his ears, it is unlikely we will be competitive at all.
But, all that being said, we cannot do any worse than last year. After the first day's round, we found ourselves 10 strokes worse than the NEXT TO LAST PLACE team. Yes, that's right...not 10 strokes worse than the best...10 strokes worse than the worst.
Anyway...stay tuned for a report from the back nine tomorrow. There is bound to be plenty of comedic relief.
But, wait...what is that...looming on the horizon??? Oh yeah, the first golf tournament of the season is this weekend. The Mud Ball Open, in which Damian, RB and I will throw our best at the field to see if we can bring home the coveted "Pro Shop Credit". Given that RB and I will be competing for the first time since completely re-building our swings, and Damian will surely have the ass-chewing from the mother of four ringing in his ears, it is unlikely we will be competitive at all.
But, all that being said, we cannot do any worse than last year. After the first day's round, we found ourselves 10 strokes worse than the NEXT TO LAST PLACE team. Yes, that's right...not 10 strokes worse than the best...10 strokes worse than the worst.
Anyway...stay tuned for a report from the back nine tomorrow. There is bound to be plenty of comedic relief.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
3:00 A.M. Phone Call
By now, I am sure you have heard Hillary's campaign ad about receiving a phone call in the White House at 3:00 A.M. Her question is..."Who do you want answering that phone?"
My question is..."Who the hell is calling at 3:00 A.M.????
Here are a few scenarios...feel free to add your own.
"Hello, President Clinton, may I help you?"
"Good evening, I would like to visit with you about Dish Network's total coverage package..."
"Hi, this is President Clinton, what can I do for you?"
"Good evening, little lady, is the man of the house in?"
"President Clinton. may I help you?"
"Hi Hill, this is Mon, is Bill there?"
"You have reached President McCain...it is 3:00 A.M. and I don't get up to pee until 5:00 A.M. Please call back at 5:15. If you are unable to catch me then, be sure to catch me before 4:30 p.m. or after 6:00 p.m., as I will be catching the "Early Bird Special" at Denny's during those hours."
"Hello, President Obama speaking..."
"Whasssuupppp!!!!"
My question is..."Who the hell is calling at 3:00 A.M.????
Here are a few scenarios...feel free to add your own.
"Hello, President Clinton, may I help you?"
"Good evening, I would like to visit with you about Dish Network's total coverage package..."
"Hi, this is President Clinton, what can I do for you?"
"Good evening, little lady, is the man of the house in?"
"President Clinton. may I help you?"
"Hi Hill, this is Mon, is Bill there?"
"You have reached President McCain...it is 3:00 A.M. and I don't get up to pee until 5:00 A.M. Please call back at 5:15. If you are unable to catch me then, be sure to catch me before 4:30 p.m. or after 6:00 p.m., as I will be catching the "Early Bird Special" at Denny's during those hours."
"Hello, President Obama speaking..."
"Whasssuupppp!!!!"
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Vaya con Queso, Oscar
Oscar apparently missed Wanda more than we thought, and decided to join her today. A week ago, he seemed perfectly normal. But beginning this weekend, he stopped eating, and declined very rapidly. Last night, he staggered into the living room and looked at me with a lost look. I picked him up and placed him on my chest while I lay on the couch watching TV. This was a position he assumed almost every night of his 18 year life. Looking back, I think it might have been his way of saying goodbye.
This morning, he could not stand up at all. At 11:00 a.m., Dr. Clark sent him on his way to join his long time companion. Tonight, he is lying next to Wanda at the farm.
While Wanda was the prettier cat, and the much better behaved, she was always kind of a loner. She would come see you when she decided it was in her best interest. Oscar was much more sociable, and would impose himself into whatever activity you happened to be undertaking, including working with power woodworking equipment. And, as mentioned earlier, he would cap off each day by curling up on my chest as I lay on the couch.
It was because of this difference that I took this a little harder than losing Wanda. After all, even with Wanda gone, we still had Oscar. I recall Dr. Clark telling me the day Wanda died, not to be surprised if Oscar followed her fairly quickly. Sure enough, he only made two more months. It was how rapidly he declined that took me completely by surprise. Rhonda told me this morning Oscar had decided it was time, and chose when to go.
At any rate, it feels a little odd tonight, going to bed for the first time in nearly 20 years without a damn cat in the house.
Farewell Oscar...we were well met. I'll see you around the bend.
This morning, he could not stand up at all. At 11:00 a.m., Dr. Clark sent him on his way to join his long time companion. Tonight, he is lying next to Wanda at the farm.
While Wanda was the prettier cat, and the much better behaved, she was always kind of a loner. She would come see you when she decided it was in her best interest. Oscar was much more sociable, and would impose himself into whatever activity you happened to be undertaking, including working with power woodworking equipment. And, as mentioned earlier, he would cap off each day by curling up on my chest as I lay on the couch.
It was because of this difference that I took this a little harder than losing Wanda. After all, even with Wanda gone, we still had Oscar. I recall Dr. Clark telling me the day Wanda died, not to be surprised if Oscar followed her fairly quickly. Sure enough, he only made two more months. It was how rapidly he declined that took me completely by surprise. Rhonda told me this morning Oscar had decided it was time, and chose when to go.
At any rate, it feels a little odd tonight, going to bed for the first time in nearly 20 years without a damn cat in the house.
Farewell Oscar...we were well met. I'll see you around the bend.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Politics in Moderation
Been away for a while...hopping in and out of other blogs. Whilst there, I have come to a conclusion or two.
One. Tammy runs a lot.
Two. The current education system in this state and country could use a lot of improvement.
Three. Sal Costello has a hard on for fuck-ups at TxDOT.
Four. Don't get crosswise with Tyson on the old haves vs. have nots argument.
Finally, a moderate position has a lot more appeal to me than it used to.
As I read a satirical posting by Tyson regarding the position taken by many hard nose right-wingers, it struck me that these people sound every bit as silly as the flitzy-ditzy "We Are the World" crowd on the left.
Extremists on both sides of the aisle detract the rest of us from coming to reasonable, workable solutions to the problems facing our country. Conservatives will smack you in the face with the flag, and warn you of the coming Stalinization of the country. Liberals will tell you that evil corporations extract baby oil from actual babies.
Meanwhile, I would wager the majority of the country wishes both sides would shut the fuck up and get something done. This problem has become more and more prevalent at the Congressional and Presidential level. Thus, we have reached a point of stagnation. Neither side will give an inch, for fear of being labeled as one on the "other" side. As a result, I have come to view the entire lot as a bunch of Republicrats.
Rush Limbaugh refers to moderates as people who have no convictions. I will respect his opinion, but choose to disagree. I would put forth the notion that moderates may be the most pragmatic of all. In my definition, they are people willing to give and take enough to move forward with solutions, instead of continuing the chest thumping, head banging, "you are wrong" posturing that has divided this country long enough.
Now that I have had time to wander a bit, and hear the rantings and ravings of both sides, I am at last able to make my choice for President in "08...John McCain. After all, he is despised by Conservatives and Liberals alike. He must be moving in the right direction.
One. Tammy runs a lot.
Two. The current education system in this state and country could use a lot of improvement.
Three. Sal Costello has a hard on for fuck-ups at TxDOT.
Four. Don't get crosswise with Tyson on the old haves vs. have nots argument.
Finally, a moderate position has a lot more appeal to me than it used to.
As I read a satirical posting by Tyson regarding the position taken by many hard nose right-wingers, it struck me that these people sound every bit as silly as the flitzy-ditzy "We Are the World" crowd on the left.
Extremists on both sides of the aisle detract the rest of us from coming to reasonable, workable solutions to the problems facing our country. Conservatives will smack you in the face with the flag, and warn you of the coming Stalinization of the country. Liberals will tell you that evil corporations extract baby oil from actual babies.
Meanwhile, I would wager the majority of the country wishes both sides would shut the fuck up and get something done. This problem has become more and more prevalent at the Congressional and Presidential level. Thus, we have reached a point of stagnation. Neither side will give an inch, for fear of being labeled as one on the "other" side. As a result, I have come to view the entire lot as a bunch of Republicrats.
Rush Limbaugh refers to moderates as people who have no convictions. I will respect his opinion, but choose to disagree. I would put forth the notion that moderates may be the most pragmatic of all. In my definition, they are people willing to give and take enough to move forward with solutions, instead of continuing the chest thumping, head banging, "you are wrong" posturing that has divided this country long enough.
Now that I have had time to wander a bit, and hear the rantings and ravings of both sides, I am at last able to make my choice for President in "08...John McCain. After all, he is despised by Conservatives and Liberals alike. He must be moving in the right direction.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)