I try...I really try. Keep your cool Fish, it really isn't that big of a deal. But when I see something like this, I just go BERSERK. (For the old farts out there, they might recognize that as a paraphrase of a line from Billy Jack).
Parking lots are my bane. Between the dim bulbs who can't cram a car into one spot, the lazy fucks constantly trolling for the closest spot and the mental midgets who leave the shopping cart in the middle of that spot when the cart return area is all of two cars away, it is all I can do to keep from just ramming the Tundra straight through the front doors.
When I slow down for you to walk across in front of me, MOVE YOUR ASS. Don't slow down, answer your phone and walk along the driving lane instead of across it. Just because you have a big load of crap from Home Depot to load into your truck does not entitle you to park in the driving lane in front of the door and prevent others from coming and going. Haul it out to the parking lot and load it yourself like a man. Hell, if I could cram it all in a Maxima for years, you can sure as hell shove it into your Lincoln or Cadillac "pickup" by yourself.
But tonight I witnessed a new low. Whilst parked at Carino's in the take out spot (don't get me started on how incredibly inefficient that operation is), I was blocked in by a vehicle who had parked at the front door in order to load an elderly disabled gentleman in the front seat. Now, before you get all bent out of shape about how I hate the handicapped, and how your Dad lost his legs in some horrible lumberjack accident providing lumber for the growing industrial revolution, I must tell you there were three (3) vacant handicapped parking spots not fifteen feet from where these selfish SOB's had parked.
For Chrissake, The American's with Disabilities Act was passed for just this reason. Move your rig, haul Grandpa the extra few feet, and spend the rest of the fucking night getting him loaded up. As long as you are out of the way, in your specially designated, front row, premium parking spot, I don't give a crap.
All I am asking for is a little consideration. Thanks for listening.
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5 comments:
did you get yourself a Christakis burger after picking up Khiva's dinner?
"...and how your Dad lost his legs in some horrible lumberjack accident providing lumber for the growing industrial revolution...
Freaking HYSTERICAL! I am still laughing! And an hour from now, I imagine I will STILL be laughing!
Says the daughter of two blind parents:
God damn handicapped people always ruin everything with their ridiculous "Americans With Disibilities Act" -- BAH! As a runner who runs almost daily during her lunch hour, I have always felt EXTREMELY lucky to have a shower available to me at work so that I can politely wash away my sporty stench before rejoining my co-workers. A few weeks ago we underwent a building inspection during which it was determined that our showers were not handicapped accessible. Our landlord was given two choices -- either pay a contractor to rebuild the showers to make them handicapped accessible or else have the showers removed.
Now, let me make a couple of things very clear -- FIRST, our showers are utilized by EMPLOYEES ONLY, not clients! And SECOND, NONE of our over 80 employees are currently gimping around in wheelchairs.
So, not wanting to spend the thousands of dollars required to remodel the showers or pay a hefty fine, our landlord was required to TURN OFF THE WATER TO THE SHOWERS, BOARD THEM UP (yes, with actual PLYWOOD), REMOVE THE DOOR KNOBS to the shower room and REPLACE THEM with HEAVY DUTY LOCKS -- you know, in case any of us deviant state public health employees decided to break in to the showers, tear down the plywood with our bare hands, reconnect the plumbing, and get ourselves all squeaky clean in rebellion!
And ALL of this ridiculous waste of perfectly good resources and grand posturing in the name of handicapped people who do not even exist!
Baffling.
On a totally unrelated note -- Al, probably not a Christakis Burger; more likely a Blake's Round Dog. No onions.
Tammy,
It lends credence to my ranting that you have experienced, first hand the incredible idiocy of the beauracracy that is the ADA.
How genuinely stupid it is that perfectly good showers had to be shut down because they were not compliant with this onerous act.
I can't begin to tell you how many "wheelchair ramps to nowhere" have been constucted by my agency in a feeble attempt to cater to non-existent cripples.
God help us...
No Al, I ate a nice turkey and bacon pannini from the aforementioned Carinos. It's no Christaki's, but it will do in a pinch.
Meanwhile...
In a meeting for a special education student there was a fight during the meeting, a meeting with the principal after the meeting where a conversation was had, and then yet another meeting was had where the "fight" was agreed to disagree based on a mutually acceptable yet differing focus of philosophy on the topic.
What was said topic that stirred the flames of debate and dissension?
Place markers.
Yes, place markers. You know, how one folds a sheet of paper in half or maybe use an index card to move down the page as one reads to keep one's place: Place Marker.
If a special education student is to be allowed the "accommodation" of having a place marker during the TAKS test so that s/he may keep his/her place while reading a passage, the ARD committee must determine that the place marker is genuinely needed.
General education students are NEVER allowed place markers under any circumstances. The use of unwarranted, non-permitted place markers during the TAKS test constitutes cheating. The student will be punished and the TAKS test for that year will NOT be accepted. Should a teacher be caught dispensing place markers to a general education student, the teacher can be fired and stripped of her teaching credentials. Should place markers be incorrectly dispensed by a teacher to a special education student, the district can be sued, the teacher fired and stripped of her teaching credentials.
Yes... this really happened... in fact the ARD meeting had to be stopped, rescheduled, and continued at a later date so that we could determine the proper assignment of place markers in this particular case.
Today, at the meeting, we explained the matter to the parent who smirked and said, "simply ridiculous."
One of my fondest memories related to his was when Mrs. Ed and I were in Santa Fe one summer afternoon and we drove by the New Mexico School for the Deaf and on the marquee was wrotten:
Silent Auction Saturday at 7:00 PM
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