Yesterday, I went to Best Buy to get a cable connection to help the wife transfer files from the old laptop to the new. Foolish me, I thought it would be a quick visit to purchase a $40 cord. That was, until I spied the wife with a death grip on a Wii game console. They only had three and the wife was convinced no more would ever be arriving. "Screw it", said I...get the damn thing, and let's take the next step towards technology damnation.
It began with Atari 2600, and Intellivision, and I see no end in sight. We now have three versions of Nintendo game systems and four versions of Game Boy. Tack onto that, the two versions of SLR film cameras, the two digital cameras and the latest addition of an SLR digital camera, and I have assured Japan's GDP will continue to grow at a pace far exceeding that of the USA. I am convinced the next round of technology will simply require you to wink at someone then crap out a 10 X 7 glossy.
As I was swirling through this sucking cesspool of technological advancement, I floated past the new, "must have" HD televisions. Now, godammit...I have already wrongly chased the Betamax rainbow...switched to VHS...bought all of the albums, 8-tracks, cassettes and CD's of my favorite bands, and actually invested in two DVD players.
Now, I understand that in 2009, the "industry" is going to require me to buy a digital TV. OK, I can live with that, but who decided we had to go with this asinine "flat screen" technology???? These damn, fancy new TV's are squashed into flat and wide formats, making everybody on the screen look like a bunch of eggheads. What's worse is...none of these TV's will fit in the previous entertainment centers.
I measured the opening in the $2500 piece of furniture I bought two years ago, and discovered a tiny 32 inch "new TV" will fit. But a reasonably viewable 37 inch TV is 1/4 inch too wide!!!! Clearly, the TV people and the furniture people conspired many years ago to force us to buy a bunch of crap we really don't need.
That's it!!! I refuse to play any more. No I-pods...no MP3 players...no skinny-ass HDTV's. Give me a giant, fat-ass TV with a clothes hangar antenna...AM radio...and two cans on a string...I'm calling my Congressman!
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6 comments:
And yet, despite this anti-technology outburst, I bet you spent the entire evening hunkered down with Khiva battling the dark forces of the Universe with your wii. Just try to deny it, Zelda-Boy!
Two cans and a string... heh heh heh.
That's it!!! I refuse to play any more. No I-pods...no MP3 players...no skinny-ass HDTV's.
until "the wife" changes your mind ...
Tammy...Soundly denied. We do not yet have Zelda for the Wii. We spent the evening hunkered down watching the Weather Channel.
Al...As long as I am paying, I call the shots around here...Oh hell, who am I trying to kid???
Excellent post! People are schmucks. Planned obsolescence is a friggin' business model. Maybe technology is not spawn of Satan (that's a stretch, but maybe it's not), however the people who market technology are certainly demon spawn.
J works for a company that markets technology -- thus making him a demon spawn by proxy. Makes sense, I guess -- I've always had a thing for sarcastic, irreverant bad boy types.
Down with North Central Positronics!
Bring the magic back...
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