If I hear one more so called celebrity pontificate about what I should do to save the earth, I might be forced to go out and drain my oil directly into the ground in the alley. I have had my fill of Earth Week.
The wife even indicated she was going to buy some of those annoying canvas bags for groceries. I beseeched her, if she insisted on doing it, to do it for the right reason. That being that we are being buried on Maniacal Lane under those damn plastic bags since the cats died. Try as they may, the dogs just can't produce the level of excrement necessary to keep up with the infusion of Wal-Mart and United bags. Please do not buy them under the misguided notion that it will help the environment.
First, let me go on the record as one who believes Man has little to no influence on the earth's climate. Send all of the knee jerk propaganda you want about greenhouse gasses and the evils of fossil fuels. Man just ain't Man enough to fuck with Mother Nature. The Earth will do what she will do, and there ain't a damn thing Man can do about it. I predict in the 20's, high school students will be holding theme parties parodying the "hippie" like antics of environmental reactionaries of the Naught's. Hell, I saw the same thing in the '70's.
For 40 plus years there have been dire predictions about the "end world" actions taken by Man. The actual score is: Earth - 5 billion years...Modern Man - 10,000 years. By those numbers, the Earth has not even realized we are here. We cannot destroy the planet...we can only destroy ourselves...and eventually, we will. I, for one, am not going to lose any sleep over it.
I read this week where food riots have begun around the world, and there is a perceived rice shortage in the US. RICE shortage???? Who gives a shit? A rice shortage will not lead to riots in this country. Now...a donut shortage will be a different thing.
Come to think of it...a food shortage could be the best thing to happen to this country. We are currently in the middle of an obesity epidemic. Yes, I said "obesity epidemic". We are actually afflicted with too much food in this country. If food shortages eventually lead to rioting, the country can only become healthier. Everyone will be eating less, and exercising more.
Honor Earth Week...plant a tree...you may be forced to eat the damn thing.
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4 comments:
Nice post. I have my own little rant, but I will save it for my blog. Let's just say... a few geology classes can really put things into perspective. I too, have had my fill of the arrogance of man thinking man is really that significant or powerful with respect to Earth. Without natural predators, we will over stress our environment like all species do. We aren't even as successful a species as bacteria or the dinosaur -- or the cockroach. And, I am not sure we are the smartest given our tendencies to do things to our enemies that ultimately float back to the originator -- nuclear weapons, bio-weapons, chemical weapons -- who'd a thunk that the simple breeze would one day be the great equalizer.
Then there is the matter of greed and what we are willing to do to our environment to sate that impulse. I mean important stuff like ruining our water supply. Fuck the little plastic bags. Read the research, landfills are good. We're fools chasing our tails, and the politicians just keep smearing our asses with more peanut butter to keep us interested. (That's a great sentence.)
Now, I'm off. It's the spring the festival at the boys elementary, and we are celebrating our new GO GREEN initiative. I have to get there early so I can buy our T-Shirts!
We had a "Healthy Earth Day Snack Break" at my office on Tuesday -- organic fruits and vegetables, organic crackers, etc. Sorry Elaine -- no peanut butter.
Personally, I think that if our presence on this planet reached parasitic enough proportions, the earth would figure out a way to shake us off like fleas. Survival of the fittest.
Doesn't matter, though. We'll do ourselves in long before that happens.
We're fools chasing our tails, and the politicians just keep smearing our asses with more peanut butter to keep us interested.
In all of my life, I don't think I have heard it put any more succinctly than that. Thanks, Elaine.
Batman you could not have ritten it any better. These environidiots are the same fools protesting Vietman in different yet equally smelly clothes. I am all for clean water, clean air etc., but give me a fracking brake! I mean dang, cars today are SO MUCH MORE environmental friendly than 30 years ago. This just the issue de jour. I am sure some other folly will follow. Remember when the tree huggers got upset when NASA was going to launch a space probe with (GASP) PLUTONIUM?
Anyone remember Skylab?
Jimmy Carter is one old fossil.
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