Most weekends, after a round of golf, the pro will ask me how things went. I usually respond with the trite expression..."I should have stayed home, and pounded my thumb with a hammer." We all laugh, and I go on my way.
However, Sunday, after the second round of the Mud Ball Open, and another disappointing performance, I apparently let my subconscious mind take over, where my conscious mind should have been in charge.
I got home...eager to try out the new plug aerator I had bought to manage the estate on Maniacal Lane. Now, for the agronomically challenged, a plug aerator is a device consisting of a series of spiked wheels. It is designed to be towed behind a riding mower, and the wheels penetrate the ground as they roll, bringing up a "plug" of soil, and leaving a hole. These holes allow water and nutrients to penetrate into the lawn to promote a healthy lawn. To accomplish this, one must place a considerable amount of weight on the aerator to help the spikes penetrate into the winter hardened soil. In my case, I chose five full sized cinder blocks and four 5X9concrete flat stones.
Plenty of weight, as it turned out. The problem came after I had finished, and decided to remove the aerator in question from my mower. Keep in mind, I have a Masters Degree in Civil Engineering. Forgetting my physics classes, I disconnected the aerator from the mower, and the enormous weight of the concrete blocks immediately flipped the aerator backwards, "pounding my thumb with the hammer" of the tongue of the aerator underneath the back edge of the mower. A nickel sized chunk of flesh was removed from my thumb, and my regularly scheduled, one pint blood donation was accomplished in the flash of a piece of yard equipment. On the positive side, I did manage to teach the neighborhood kids a few new words. The good news is, the injury was high enough up on my thumb I don't think it will prevent me from pursuing my passion again this weekend.
When I told the folks at work about it, they asked when was the last time I had a teatnus shot. I explained that I injure myself more than "Tim, the Tool Man", so the wife has me on an annual vaccination schedule. Sometime, I will show you my tags.
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6 comments:
You lost me after "designed to be towed behind a lawnmower"...
Oh, and OUCH!
Use This next Time. dangit, I was trying to paste a picture of a hammer. Oh well just visit BDS for that....
Is it rong to yell movie in a crowded fire house?
damn that sounds painful ... but perhaps not as much as a "teatnus" shot ... is that given in the nipple?
Even we simple folk, like teachers, understand the basic principles of counterbalance and weight. Sorry about your thumb...
I wouldn't mention this incident in an interview for a teaching position... unless you're going for an English position, in which case it will be fine as long as there aren't any grammar errors.
In the middle of the post, before the part about the accident, I was convinced that you were about to be backed over by an aerator. Imagine my disappointment.
By the way, I hate it when you are playing golf and all those little aerator plugs get stuck to your shoes. Plus, they look just like goose turds, so you are never really sure what you are stepping in...
Way to go, doofus. Next time hire a gardner...
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