To the two, maybe three readers out there, I apologize for the complete dearth in posting. I truly have had nothing worthwhile to write about. The grass is dormant, the garden, un-tilled. Work??? Yawwwnnnn!!! Not much to do when you find yourself with a $1 billion shortfall. Sad to say, but the weekly hanging out with grumpy old men at Caprock on Thursday nights has become the highlight of the week.
But, wait...what is that...looming on the horizon??? Oh yeah, the first golf tournament of the season is this weekend. The Mud Ball Open, in which Damian, RB and I will throw our best at the field to see if we can bring home the coveted "Pro Shop Credit". Given that RB and I will be competing for the first time since completely re-building our swings, and Damian will surely have the ass-chewing from the mother of four ringing in his ears, it is unlikely we will be competitive at all.
But, all that being said, we cannot do any worse than last year. After the first day's round, we found ourselves 10 strokes worse than the NEXT TO LAST PLACE team. Yes, that's right...not 10 strokes worse than the best...10 strokes worse than the worst.
Anyway...stay tuned for a report from the back nine tomorrow. There is bound to be plenty of comedic relief.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
I don't like golf. I know, sacrilege to say so on your blog... but good luck. I know no one else who plays golf, so I am always rooting for you! Knock 'm dead. If that's what one says in golf-go-get-'em lingo.
good luck ... playing with Damian proves you're a masochist.
also, remember that "every putt makes someone happy".
Well...it was an improvement on last year. We are only 10 strokes out of first place this year, instead of 10 strokes out of next to last place. After Day 1, we find ourselves firmly entrenched in the middle of the pack.
Today's format was select drive...low ball. For the non-golfers, that means your team picks the best drive and then each player plays the rest of the hole on their own from there on. You then record the two best scores for the team. Each team is required to use four drives from each player on the team. It was good I was able to get my four shots in early, as I reverted to "club in ass" golf soon after that. I would have been better off staying home, and playing with myself.
At any rate, there is still reason to go out tomorrow and give it our best.
I have NO idea what you are talking about... but it sounds positive... so, I'm gonna go with "Great Job! Way to Go! Give 'em hell tomorrow!"
Elaine, thanks for your kudos...however, I was describing a very mediocre tournament appearance. But, as mediocre is a huge improvement from last year's abhorent showing, I can see how you would reach your conclusion.
Anyway, speaking of abhorent, on to the summary of today's performance.
We teed off at 9:22 am, in 40 degree weather with 20-30 mph winds. To say the least, we were freezing our asses off. I was even wearing my big boy pants and a wind jacket, sitting in a covered cart, with the wind flaps down. Still shivering so bad, I could not stand over a putt steadily. Ay one point, I even offered to share my body heat with RB. He, not so politely, declined.
Today's format was a three man scramble, meaning on each hole you take the best shot from your three man team, and you all play the next shot from there. You continue this on each shot until you finish the hole. In short, this means par is an expected score on every hole, because surely all three of you can't fuck up on the same shot. Well, we proceeded to knock that theory on it's ass. I have to say it was truly a team effort today, as we all fucked up consistently and contiuously, with me being the primary upfucker. On two separate holes I nearly hit myself in the ass with my tee shot.
I could sense a feeling of release on the 12th hole, as we all three missed a 2 1/2 foot putt to score a double bogey 5 on a par three. For the record, a double bogey in a scramble is unheard of. From that point in we were accepting our fate in life, and the whiskey came out.
Long story short, another disappointing tournament appearance. Gotta call the coach and get another lesson.
Sorry, honey.
How about a new sport?
That NEVER gets old. Seriously, I just watched it five more times... LMAO!!!
E gads... that's sounds horrible.
Post a Comment